My utmost for His highest

2nd year soldier

2009-04-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

On Good Friday, i officially turned a 2nd year soldier. It kinda feels good knowing i am one step closer to ORD and looking back at the past year, it realli has been a long long long year. I tink i should really be thankful to God for giving me my 8-5 posting. Never in my life would i expect myself to serve at the capacity i am at now while i am still in the army, all this while i am pursuing a part time degree in pgsm. But there is always so much more i could be doing. Like doing more in people work. Like going for more outings with people and making an impact in more lives. There is so much more i wanna do but i can feel God saying that now is not the time as yet and that i need to wait for yet an appointed time. The human mind has a tendency to not be able to see further than the natural but its faith that says that i trust in God and i that i am able to wait for it to come to pass. Meanwhile, i need to be realli focused on the things that i have. My ministry and the things i am doing. Bookstore still has so much more to grow in and it realli is excitin to visit attributes and see that one day generations bookstore will not just be the same but even better because the next generation is always better than the first. Anyway, the idea of ORD suonds so good but yet at the same time it would mean i will have to be done with this year first but the things that the rest of this year might hold is just so exciting and my simple human mind will never be to expect and forsee what God has planned. I look forward to the day of ORD and am excited at getting through this year.

2009-03-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

It's been 1 week since coming back and true to hoGc. It has been ultimately exciting. The one word that has been endlessly on my mind is bookstore. There is just so much to do and it is really one of a huge task. There are too many things going through my mind at this moment that i dont know what to write and i know that there many things which i need to do and grow myself in. I need to grow and go up to another level.

2009-02-20T20:13:00.000-08:00

B-A-C-K! First things first, the weather is disgustingly hot. Haha. Anyway, the feeling of home still needs a little getting used to, being away from it for 3 weeks. I am waiting to go to church and meet the people I have so missed for the past 3 weeks. Coming back from such a long trip, a part of me misses the carefree days where it was just food and sleep and play but I know there is another part in my heart where it is screaming out loud for the house of God and for God. I guess it is time to drop playtime and get things going again. As much as I miss the nonsense days in taiwan, hoGc is so much better. Haha. But then again, I could use the shopping in taiwan once in a deep dark blue moon.

Taiwan!

2009-01-24T09:16:00.001-08:00

Life as a Christian is really so so exciting. So many things have really happened during this month. From going to taiwan to being in the choir. I realise one thing that keeps me going in my life and that is my dreams. No matter where I go in this Christian life, I realise that until the day that the dreams God placed in my life comes to past, I stay unsatisfied and not happy with the current situation I am in. Going to taiwan is really a big thing for me. It is the first time i am ever going to be away from church for so long. Despite the fact that i feel more ready now than ever to leave the comforts of the house of God, it is always another thing to go for such a period of time but in my heart, i know i need to go. I remember once in bmt while we were doing our morning run, i saw a plane flew past where we were running and i told God that the next time i fly, i wanna fly to do His work. Situations have not turned out as i had hoped but i know in my heart, God has his plans and the best of all, it always turns out for good.

2008-12-29T07:52:00.000-08:00

The fun's only just begun and it is sooo exciting. I had a discipleship class with pastors and many other people on Saturday night and it was about keeping our idealism. It's like as youths we are so idealistic people but some how along the way people slowly slowly lose it. The worst thing is that once its lost, its extremely hard to gain it back. Pastor also shared that we need to have something that deeply anchors us in church so that we will not lose our idealism. People often say that idealism cannot feed us. I feel that its more along the lines of it's better to have love and lost than not to have love at all. Although we may not end up fulfilling our dreams, but at the end of the day is better to have tried and succeeded or die trying than to not try and regret when we are old and no longer have the ability to do what we were able to do. My life is really on an upward spiral now and i am really glad that i am able to support the church in so much more ways. I am making my life count, are u?

2008-12-12T19:03:00.000-08:00

It's official, i am posted to 9 sig bn and i got my stay out. I am beginning to start working as well. Working there sometimes makes me lose faith in people like how ugly sometimes people can get and how you do the work but other people get the credit and how it is just a never ending cycle of work. But at the end of the day, everytime i turn my eyes back to Jesus and somehow the faith returns and my heart softens again. Anyway, back on more interestin stuff. Finally i am doing more and i cannot wait to get started. BMI and bookstore ogl. I cannot believe it that i am actually an ogl. Haha. Anyway let's get started!!!!

2008-11-19T05:05:00.000-08:00

my spec trainee course is coming to an end and i am going to be posted out next week. will be going to 9 sig. Heard from many sources that it is a stay out posting which is good. With it, comes many thoughts too. Too many things to think about about 9 sig. It will be too long a list. will post more about it again when i am there. :)

2008-11-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

Worshipping God when it's your birthday somehow just feels different and spending time with God in the stillness of the morning when everyone and everything else is still asleep is really awesome and you know in your heart it's just you and God and no one else. As i sat on my bed worshipping God this morning, i felt in the spirit, myself sitting down and stopped running about and stopped pushing new grounds and everything and in the moment i also felt God sitting down right beside as though just to keep me company and to let me know He is always there. Worship in service is always so different from worshipping God in your own time at home where it is only just you and God. It is a time where you feel so intimate with God and it is also time where you bare yourself to God and just talk to him and sometimes just talk at him. It is also time where u feel your spirit man rejuvenating and just powering up to go again. QT is realli awesome! :)

Thank you God!

2008-09-05T17:06:00.001-07:00

Something realli amazing happened this week in camp. I was supposed to be on guard duty on this saturday. I was quite sad bout it cause it meant missing service and not spending a nite at home. In my heart, i knew that if i was to do guard duty, i would take this opportunity to reach out to another of my bunkmate who was doing guard duty too. As Friday approached, so did my guard duty. As i booked in after my nites out, my sergeant asked me who was the last person in register doing the guard duty on saturday and i promptly replied it was another of my platoon mate. He told me to tell my platoon mate that he need not duty anymore because some one from cco stagmont had signed extra. As i made my way back to the accommodation block, i den told him what happened but he was not very happy bout it cause it probably meant he need to do it on another day. So, he decided to call up our staff sgt. Our staff sgt den told him if he was not doing this weekend, it would be counted as though he did and he need not do anymore weekend guard duty. After that, i approached him and asked whether he could let me not do because my brother was coming back from overseas on saturday and i wanna go fetch him. He den said we will see tml. All that was left at that moment was whether the person who signed the extra would turn up because he was informed very last minute. Saturday came and as we waited for our guard duty to start. It was the supposed time for our guard duty and the person who was supposed to do his extra duty had not turn up and i was starting to leak a little faith. But in my heart, i knew God was a faithful God and with so many people praying for me, i knew it had to come to past. And true enough, when the duty officer appeared, the person who was supposed to do the extra had appeared. Now with one condition down, only one left remaining. I den turned to my platoon mate and asked him whether i could not do and explained to him the reason why. After a few minutes of pondering, he agreed and i was freed from guard duty. WOO! God is indeed an amazing God. In case you are wondering, i am typing this blog right in camp cause i am supposed to have online lessons but we are free to use the net once we are done. Haha. It is indeed true that the little things in army that makes all the difference. :) Thank you GOD!!!

2008-08-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since i fell in love with a song but this song really touched my heart during service yesterday and i dont know why but somehow the song just really connected with me. Haha. Here goes the lyrics

JESUS YOU
YOU HOLD THE WORLD WITH YOUR UNFAILING LOVE
THE HEAVENS SING YOUR PRAISES FROM ABOVE
IN YOUR NAME LIPS SHALL PRAISE
AND KNEES SHALL BOW

FATHER YOU
THE UNIVERSE EXALTS IN WHO YOU ARE
THE STARS DECLARE YOUR WONDERS FAR AND WIDE
HOW MAJESTIC IS YOUR LOVE
THROUGHOUT MY LIFE

IN YOU
I FIND MY PEACE
IN YOU
I BEND MY KNEE

YOU ARE LORD OF HEAVEN
YOU SHALL REIGN IN ALL THE EARTH
I HUMBLY BOW BEFORE YOUR MAJESTY
AND I'LL SING YOUR PRAISES
AND I WILL SING FOREVERMORE
I'M CAPTIVATED BY YOUR LOVE IN ME

2008-08-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

BSLC is coming to an end after 2 months. These 2 months passed rather quickly and i can say i dont know alot of pple in my platoon which is so different in bmt. Being bslc is so different in bmt. Everyone is like another level altogether. Everyone knows their stuff and what to do. Although its a fast 2 months, didnt really enjoy most of it. The relationship with the people there is really weird. It's like although we live together for so long for 2 months, it's like there is only a working relationship among the people. Really dislike it. But it's ending soon anyway. Hope the next vocation i go to will be somewhere where God can really use me. :)

Worship

2008-06-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

This morning as i woke up, i decided to worship God first thing in the morning. As i begin to worship, God began to remind me of all the times in the past where i would do the same thing and as i began to remember, the love of God started to fill me up and i started to tear and i felt so happy. haha. God is awesome and His presence is amazing!

Prayer Meeting

2008-06-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

It's my 10 days block leave and it cannot be any better as i get to spend time in the house of God and just take a rest from the hectic army life of always running around. As i joined the prayer meeting last friday from 4-5pm, at first i found it hard to connect to God but something inside me just told me to keep on pressing in. I realised there was a lack of strength in my spiritual man, like it hasnt been conditioned to fight and the strength was lacking. Although in the natural i am beginning to learn that, my spiritual man has abit more to go. I need to keep my spiritual man fighting on and pushing and gaining more grounds. Anyway, during the prayer meeting, I felt God saying these 3 words to me Prepare, Growth and Expand. It felt so apt for this season as i spend my 2 years in army. Although nothing seems to be happening on the outside, on the inside, i know it is time for me to prepare for my work ahead and to grow as a Christian and lastly expand my capacity. It's going to be an exciting 2 years i cannot wait to do God's work when i come out of army. It's going to be an awesome awesome 2 years of alot of me and God. :)

2008-05-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

The only reason why i am blogging on a sunday night will only be because its a long weekend!!! I love weekends like this cause its these times where i get to spend time with my spiritual family. Being in the army, i can feel the army shaping me in good ways like the discipline and the ability to endure hardship. I was just tinking why do people say that army make boys into men and i tink i have got it somehow. I tink its really 2 main things. 1. Sometimes u have to do the things the hard way. Point being that, sometimes things are just not that easy and the only way out is to do it the hard way and many a times you dont have a choice and have to just barge through it although how hard it may seem. 2. U have to take up responsibilities for our actions. Like when you make a mistake, you just have to take the punishment. For example, when your rifle gets stolen, you just have to take the punishment and do guard duty. Its like when Dom said during one of the mens meeting before i went army. He said there are some things in our lives which we just cannot siam and just have to do it. Its these things which makes a boy grows up and realise that he is longer a young boy but a man and has to take responsibilities for his actions and whatever things he does will have an impact and consequences. There was one thing that i asked God before army and that was whether He could take away the dread and sianness and all the negative emotions that came with going into army and the thing was that, He said no. But instead, He said that He could make it easier to bear. If i had choice, i wouldnt wanna put behind my spiritual family which means so much to me and for the first time in my life, i will be spending so much time away from people who have been so close to me and care so much for me. If i had a choice, I would wanna go but I had to do what every other men in heart of God church is doing and that is to serve his nation for 2 years. Its going to be a long 2 years but i know i will grow so much in capacity that when i return in 2 years time, i will be able to do so much than i was able before i entered the army. Its going to be a hard but fruitful 2 years but i know God will be with me throughout. :)

2008-05-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

2nd bookout but this time i didnt get to go home cause my house is under renovation and i am staying at my ah ma house. Although it feels kinda weird not going home but abit used to it. Next weekend, i wont be booking out however as i will be sleeping in the jungles. I feel that i got used to the fact of confining and not coming out during the weekends but still haven got used to the fact of booking in. One thing on my mind recently is whether to go to command school and I realised i need to seek God about it before i book in as field camp is coming up. Deep in my heart i know that God is telling me to go command school and that over the past few months where God has been building me up is just so that i can go command school and Fifi also told me to go command school. Although it is not going to be easy but i know as long as i put in my best effort and with God by my side i know i will definitely make it through. Just the other day, I realised that after this building fund, I have only one more building fund to go while i am in army and the next one i will be a civillian already. Army oh army, i am going to influence u with my affluence!!!

Habakkuk 2:3

2008-04-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Just a few weeks ago, Pastor Lia shared a sermon about visions. It was really a very powerful sermon. I am going to army in a few hours time and throughout these 2 years, I feel that I would really grow alot, not just spiritually but as a person as a whole. It is just going to be alot of growing throughout these 2 years. These 2 years I need to hang on to my vision and make sure it does not die out, for without a vision people perish. The fire will not dim but in the darkest of places, it will shine even brighter.

3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

checking in with God

2008-04-02T09:12:00.000-07:00

A priest passing through his church
in the middle of the day,

Decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,

The priest frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in a while.

His shirt was kind of shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,

the man knelt, he bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,

each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap

Well, the priest's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,

He decided to stop the man and ask him,
'What are you doing here?'

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.

Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power

'I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;

as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kind a what I say:

'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,

HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP

AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,

BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM

CHECKING IN TODAY.'

The priest feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said 'Thanks.'
He hurried to the door.

The priest knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.

As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:

'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,

HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP

AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT

I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY'

Past noon one day, the priest noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.

As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him ,
learning he was ill.

The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.

His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,

when no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.

The priest stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:

No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;

'the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that in here all the while

everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,

He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:

'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,

HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,

AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,

I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,

AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS

CHECKING IN TODAY.'

have u checked in today?

FIGHT!

2008-03-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

Pastor's sermon last week sort of awaken something inside me. Its like the fighter inside which has been asleep for so long has been awaken. Its like the fighter which fights on even though there maybe only a token victory. Its like the fighter which fights for more in every area of his life. Its like the fighter who fights for more of His presence.

Had a powerful time with Him on sunday night. God and His house stole my heart! haha :)

Intertwining God with my music

2008-03-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

As I was reading a testimony that Maril showed me while helping me with my smu application, I got a word from God. It hit me so strongly that it burned in my heart. It deeply impacted me and it will definitely change the way I play my guitar and sing. God told me to intertwined Him with my music. In my head, I could see a tune and notes with God's presence surrounding it and intertwining with it and the presence of God was so strong in that mental picture that I had. It was indeed awesome. :)

University admission

2008-03-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

I wondered if you guys had missing items around the house. Well, for me, it just happened recently. I used to have 6-7 pairs of ankle socks in my drawer. But recently, I seemed to have shortages of socks. I have to keep taking them from the laundry line when they are just dried. Taking a walk around the house today, I realised I only have 3-4 pairs left. I then asked my mum and she said that she threw some away because they were worn out. Haha. So it seems the case of missing socks was solved. Anyway, I plan to apply for university by latest tomorrow night as application is on a first come first served basis. Many thoughts on that issue and it will take ages to write them all down. But at the end of the day, I know God will prevail and all things will work out for good. :)

Paper boy!

2008-02-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

Today's sermon was powerful! Pastor preached about loving expressively, verbally, surprisingly and creatively. It really impacted me and left me thinking about the way i love my friends and most important of all my leaders. Coming from the background i come from, my family is the classic asian family where they show love the subtle way. But today's sermon really changed my mind, hearing pastor sharing about his stories and all the other testimonies really made me wanna express my love loudly. Haha. Maybe for now, the more realistic goal will be to verbally say it out. Anyway, i was asked to help out in zone G event today and i was the paper boy. Haha. Suspenders and a corduroy cap. That was indeed something new. Reluctance soon gave way as i made my way into the room to give out my papers. I was indeed scared to death, honestly speaking but i prayed for boldness and i made it. There was a general consensus that i looked really liked a paper boy and in fact quite cute. Haha. Hmmm. Thinking about it, i will gladly do it anytime any day for the people whom i hold so dearly in my life. My family. Come to think of it, i will be really lost if i were to leave church one day. So lost, without these family beside me and guiding me on and providing me with a genuine friendship where i cannot find anywhere else in the world. Life's indeed different with them around. My 2nd family in a place i call home. A place called heart of God church. The best thing is that this family keeps getting bigger and the only direction it will go is bigger. The bestest thing of all, you are welcomed to join this family! A quote from Christine's love letter to the CG. "Ohana means family and family means YOU"

Visitation

2008-02-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

New blog. Haha. Going for visitation later and hanging out with the CG. Going Mel Long's house again. She has a humongous house if u guys dont know. Haha. Its going to be an awesome day.